More Toilet Talk

Stalls in public facilities frequently have graphics on the doors indicating what type of "service" they offer. Although Western-style toilets are more common in Taiwan, the conference site had only one. The woman using the stall before me apparently preferred a squatter and left the biggest mess I'd ever seen. She must have crawled up on the seat, crouched in position, and let go. Without getting more explicit, just let me say that a fire hose would have been handy for a full-stall clean-up. Taiwan also has some of the fancy, full-service Japanese toilets with a range of options from bottom spritz to ejector seat. I encountered a scary one in my hotel lobby. When I walked into the stall, the lid opened for me. (I should have left immediately, but...) As soon as I got in position, it started whirring and gurgling ominously. Eyeing the control panel, which looked like it belonged in a cockpit, I was torn between "Fast!" and "RUN NOW!!!"